Friday
Sep242010
The Graduate
Friday, September 24, 2010 at 5:39AM
"Do you have student ID?" Well erm... Actually I still do have my Madison student ID card, which doesn't expire until 2013, so I can still get away with student discounts. But I didn't have that card on me this summer, when I asked for student rate at the cinema in Manchester. I pulled out my Warwick card... only to find it was out of date. Finished. Expired.
I am officially no longer a student, but instead, a graduate of the University of Warwick. And I find that a little sad. At first, it was great to have graduated. No more exam pressure, no more work. Freedom! Who cares about the £20,000 student loan debts, I have a degree. The relief at having made it to a first class, the subsequent fun over the summer; even walking the stage in my gown to collect my degree, I didn't take the time to think that I was no longer a student. It just feels so natural to be a student.
I never thought I'd miss it, but living here in Madison, a university city (the campus is practically half of downtown), I've been having lots of nostalgic feelings. I missed getting ready for the new term/semester to begin. I missed making sure I had all my stationary organised, bag, paper, pens etc. I went with Nicole to the university bookstore to collect some of her textbooks, and I felt a pang of regret that I too wasn't collecting lots of books, spending a fortune, and taking them to begin preparing for classes. Of course, I am glad I didn't have to shell out hundreds of dollars on course materials, but I still looked at the piles of books on offer with a certain amount of longing. I even wandered down the history aisle, to see which courses were on offer, and if any of the classes looked interesting, based on the assigned reading.
I don't know if this is true of most people, but I genuinely enjoyed all of my classes during my three years as a university student. I still have most of the books I bought, because I found them interesting to read just on their own. Though it seems almost sacrilege to admit it, I miss the learning. At times I find myself wanting to walk right on State Street, instead of left, and head on over to a lecture in Humanities, or walk on up Bascom to a class on top of the hill. I miss listening to a passionate professor talk about a period in American history of great upheaval, or debating in class with a fellow student about the merits of a course of action some policy maker took.
But then I stop and think. I think about how I can come home from work, and just relax, and do whatever I feel like. I don't have to worry about reading x number of articles, or ensuring I have read up to page such and such in this book. I don't have to be researching for a paper all the time. I have time to sit and just read the newspaper, to watch films and shows, to listen to music, to write this blog. I don't have to do anything if I don't want to.
And though I am no longer learning in a classroom, I am learning every day as an intern, lots of really interesting stuff too. And, it's things which are going to be important in any job. I had my doubts about how well a degree in History and Politics would prepare me for life as a graduate, but I have been using a lot of the skills I learned, and even putting to use some of the knowledge I've successfully garnered over my academic life.
What scares me post about being a graduate is these two words: What Next. I am out in the real world now. I don't have the luxury of just being a student, taking each day as it comes. I have to plan out a career now, a path to walk as I grow up. I am sure things are going to change along the way, but I need to at least start heading in the right direction. What do I want to do then? Well I still don't know. There are lots of jobs which appeal to me, but I am at a loss as to which to try first, how to get there, where to begin: A political career- great; Work for an NGO- amazing, A job in the UN- incredible; A professional actor- perfect.
So where do I go? Well a masters degree is a likely next step for me, unless of course I get offered a fantastic job somewhere, or strike lucky with an audition. But I still face three daunting questions in my pursuit of a masters. Where, What, Cost? So many different universities to chose from, though at least I know I would really like to do it in the US. So many different programs, even within one subject, and I don't even know if I want to do performing arts, history, politics, international relations, journalism, or law. Maybe even business. That's unlikely though, even if it would be a handy qualification to have. My decision is probably ultimately going to rest with whichever school offers me scholarships, or an affordable programme.
Looks like I've got some serious life planning to do. Life: here I come.
I am officially no longer a student, but instead, a graduate of the University of Warwick. And I find that a little sad. At first, it was great to have graduated. No more exam pressure, no more work. Freedom! Who cares about the £20,000 student loan debts, I have a degree. The relief at having made it to a first class, the subsequent fun over the summer; even walking the stage in my gown to collect my degree, I didn't take the time to think that I was no longer a student. It just feels so natural to be a student.I never thought I'd miss it, but living here in Madison, a university city (the campus is practically half of downtown), I've been having lots of nostalgic feelings. I missed getting ready for the new term/semester to begin. I missed making sure I had all my stationary organised, bag, paper, pens etc. I went with Nicole to the university bookstore to collect some of her textbooks, and I felt a pang of regret that I too wasn't collecting lots of books, spending a fortune, and taking them to begin preparing for classes. Of course, I am glad I didn't have to shell out hundreds of dollars on course materials, but I still looked at the piles of books on offer with a certain amount of longing. I even wandered down the history aisle, to see which courses were on offer, and if any of the classes looked interesting, based on the assigned reading.
I don't know if this is true of most people, but I genuinely enjoyed all of my classes during my three years as a university student. I still have most of the books I bought, because I found them interesting to read just on their own. Though it seems almost sacrilege to admit it, I miss the learning. At times I find myself wanting to walk right on State Street, instead of left, and head on over to a lecture in Humanities, or walk on up Bascom to a class on top of the hill. I miss listening to a passionate professor talk about a period in American history of great upheaval, or debating in class with a fellow student about the merits of a course of action some policy maker took.
But then I stop and think. I think about how I can come home from work, and just relax, and do whatever I feel like. I don't have to worry about reading x number of articles, or ensuring I have read up to page such and such in this book. I don't have to be researching for a paper all the time. I have time to sit and just read the newspaper, to watch films and shows, to listen to music, to write this blog. I don't have to do anything if I don't want to.
And though I am no longer learning in a classroom, I am learning every day as an intern, lots of really interesting stuff too. And, it's things which are going to be important in any job. I had my doubts about how well a degree in History and Politics would prepare me for life as a graduate, but I have been using a lot of the skills I learned, and even putting to use some of the knowledge I've successfully garnered over my academic life.
What scares me post about being a graduate is these two words: What Next. I am out in the real world now. I don't have the luxury of just being a student, taking each day as it comes. I have to plan out a career now, a path to walk as I grow up. I am sure things are going to change along the way, but I need to at least start heading in the right direction. What do I want to do then? Well I still don't know. There are lots of jobs which appeal to me, but I am at a loss as to which to try first, how to get there, where to begin: A political career- great; Work for an NGO- amazing, A job in the UN- incredible; A professional actor- perfect.
So where do I go? Well a masters degree is a likely next step for me, unless of course I get offered a fantastic job somewhere, or strike lucky with an audition. But I still face three daunting questions in my pursuit of a masters. Where, What, Cost? So many different universities to chose from, though at least I know I would really like to do it in the US. So many different programs, even within one subject, and I don't even know if I want to do performing arts, history, politics, international relations, journalism, or law. Maybe even business. That's unlikely though, even if it would be a handy qualification to have. My decision is probably ultimately going to rest with whichever school offers me scholarships, or an affordable programme.
Looks like I've got some serious life planning to do. Life: here I come.
Reader Comments (2)
Ben, I am catching up on your blog posts and really enjoying them. You have more profound thoughts and insights than you think. I agree that facing the prospect of "real life" can be daunting, but it's also thrilling to have so many opportunities ahead of you. You will figure it all out, and I will keep reading. I hope to see you and Nicole soon, once my hand gets better. Love, Pam
Aww thank you Pam! I hope your hand feels tons better soon! Glad you're enjoying the blog.