Thursday
Oct202011
The Awkwardness of Seeing Yourself on TV
Thursday, October 20, 2011 at 8:23PM
It's like hearing your own voice, that awkward cringe when you think "is that really what I sound like", only worse.
Not only can you hear yourself, but you can see yourself too.
"So this is how people see me then, is it?"
Only it isn't really, because your acting, your someone else. But then you look at yourself, and criticise your acting, thinking how terrible your American accent is (it was pretty bad), thinking that you don't look that convincing, or that you're doing something wrong. I suppose it is just that natural, first thought human approach, instinctive to get the bad things out of the way first. Because really, on reflection, it wasn't that bad, and I did what needed to be done!
And I got paid for a brief moment of fame, so who am I to complain really!
Still, it is quite surreal seeing yourself on TV. First off it's strange because it happened so long ago! The scene that aired last night (mid October) was filmed in mid July, so in some ways it's a bit of a blast from the past. Then again, it's still all so fresh in your mind, and the anticipation of this upcoming episode has been building for so long, you feel like it can't come soon enough!
When you finally find out the air date, there is then the question of how much do you promote it. Sure, you want friends and family to see it, even if it is a small part, but then again, you don't want to come across all boastful and arrogant. You want to play it off nice and cool and modest, and yet still have people watching. That actor's need for attention.
Paradoxically though, a part of you feels like you don't want anyone to watch! What if it's terrible? What if no-one likes the show? What if they love the show but hate your part? Or what if you do something embarrassing? Or worse still, what if your scene gets cut, which is a very real possibility?
In the end of course, the actor's need for attention wins out, and you make sure everyone you know will be watching, and the anticipation reaches it's climax, as the show starts and you begin to see that little scene you filmed fall into place with the story of the whole episode.
You know your part is about to come up, right before anyone else does. And then, you're there, filling the screen in your living room! There is definitely an initial little bit of that childlike wave of thought "I'm here, and I'm there at the same time"! And then, you're so busy gawking at your screen debut that you miss what's going on in the story. Of course, I'd filmed it, so I knew, but I'm sure my family was a little caught up in it too.
Then there's the analysis, seeing how all those shots came together to form that brief scene, how 6 hours of work boiled down to 2 minutes on screen. The weighing up of your performance. And then it's all done, the story moves onto another scene, and your life seems so normal again. That's show business for you.
Afterwards you wait expectantly to see if people recognised you, to see what they thought. And it is always wonderful to have people talking about it, and great to hear from old friends who spotted you, and decided to get back in touch. Fun to talk about the scene now people have finally seen it, fun to speculate about how famous you are now going to become..... yeh right! As I said, before you know it, it's back to reality.
Anyway, in case you missed it (here's that self-promoting actor again), for your viewing pleasure, my debut speaking performance on British television, in Episode 5 of Fresh Meat, playing of all things, an American Tourist in London, filmed in Manchester. It was also raining and cold, in the middle of July (standard Manc weather). Oh, any my hair is super short, because it was shaved for a previous role I had as a soldier!
American readers: You'll need to download that Expat Shield I was talking about in order to be able to view! I will try and maybe get a youtube clip of it or something, so that everyone can view it easier, but for now, this will have to suffice.
Also, if you don't know anything about the show, it's about a group of students... it's rather crude and vulgar, and has lots of bad language in it! You have been warned!
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/fresh-meat/4od#3242122
Click to view! (Once you have expat shield running if you are in the US!) If you don't want to watch the whole episode, skip to 12.20 on the bar at the bottom (once you've watched all the obligatory adverts) and you should see me come into the scene in about ten seconds! Sit back and enjoy!
I'll post a link to a previous Fresh Meat episode I was in as well, as an extra in the background of the pub, just in case you can't get enough of me ;)
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/fresh-meat/4od#3236525
Same deal, skip to 11.44 mins and I'm the guy sat in the foreground until 12.01, and then you may catch me in the bottom left corner of the screen at 34.28!
Thanks for watching!
Not only can you hear yourself, but you can see yourself too.
"So this is how people see me then, is it?"
Only it isn't really, because your acting, your someone else. But then you look at yourself, and criticise your acting, thinking how terrible your American accent is (it was pretty bad), thinking that you don't look that convincing, or that you're doing something wrong. I suppose it is just that natural, first thought human approach, instinctive to get the bad things out of the way first. Because really, on reflection, it wasn't that bad, and I did what needed to be done!
And I got paid for a brief moment of fame, so who am I to complain really!
Still, it is quite surreal seeing yourself on TV. First off it's strange because it happened so long ago! The scene that aired last night (mid October) was filmed in mid July, so in some ways it's a bit of a blast from the past. Then again, it's still all so fresh in your mind, and the anticipation of this upcoming episode has been building for so long, you feel like it can't come soon enough!
When you finally find out the air date, there is then the question of how much do you promote it. Sure, you want friends and family to see it, even if it is a small part, but then again, you don't want to come across all boastful and arrogant. You want to play it off nice and cool and modest, and yet still have people watching. That actor's need for attention.
Paradoxically though, a part of you feels like you don't want anyone to watch! What if it's terrible? What if no-one likes the show? What if they love the show but hate your part? Or what if you do something embarrassing? Or worse still, what if your scene gets cut, which is a very real possibility?
In the end of course, the actor's need for attention wins out, and you make sure everyone you know will be watching, and the anticipation reaches it's climax, as the show starts and you begin to see that little scene you filmed fall into place with the story of the whole episode.
You know your part is about to come up, right before anyone else does. And then, you're there, filling the screen in your living room! There is definitely an initial little bit of that childlike wave of thought "I'm here, and I'm there at the same time"! And then, you're so busy gawking at your screen debut that you miss what's going on in the story. Of course, I'd filmed it, so I knew, but I'm sure my family was a little caught up in it too.
Then there's the analysis, seeing how all those shots came together to form that brief scene, how 6 hours of work boiled down to 2 minutes on screen. The weighing up of your performance. And then it's all done, the story moves onto another scene, and your life seems so normal again. That's show business for you.
Afterwards you wait expectantly to see if people recognised you, to see what they thought. And it is always wonderful to have people talking about it, and great to hear from old friends who spotted you, and decided to get back in touch. Fun to talk about the scene now people have finally seen it, fun to speculate about how famous you are now going to become..... yeh right! As I said, before you know it, it's back to reality.
Anyway, in case you missed it (here's that self-promoting actor again), for your viewing pleasure, my debut speaking performance on British television, in Episode 5 of Fresh Meat, playing of all things, an American Tourist in London, filmed in Manchester. It was also raining and cold, in the middle of July (standard Manc weather). Oh, any my hair is super short, because it was shaved for a previous role I had as a soldier!
American readers: You'll need to download that Expat Shield I was talking about in order to be able to view! I will try and maybe get a youtube clip of it or something, so that everyone can view it easier, but for now, this will have to suffice.
Also, if you don't know anything about the show, it's about a group of students... it's rather crude and vulgar, and has lots of bad language in it! You have been warned!
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/fresh-meat/4od#3242122
Click to view! (Once you have expat shield running if you are in the US!) If you don't want to watch the whole episode, skip to 12.20 on the bar at the bottom (once you've watched all the obligatory adverts) and you should see me come into the scene in about ten seconds! Sit back and enjoy!
I'll post a link to a previous Fresh Meat episode I was in as well, as an extra in the background of the pub, just in case you can't get enough of me ;)
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/fresh-meat/4od#3236525
Same deal, skip to 11.44 mins and I'm the guy sat in the foreground until 12.01, and then you may catch me in the bottom left corner of the screen at 34.28!
Thanks for watching!
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